Top Ten – 20 New Definitions

20 New Definitions

(Originally published in Inform Magazine, May 2003)

Paradise – What happens to a soldier whose parachute doesn’t open when he lands on a cattle grid
Ideal – A pushy poker player
Vow – German appreciation
Reliant – A trustworthy insect
Favour – A Northern Irish five pounds
Tanner – A Northern Irish ten pounds
Cabaret – A continental taxi driver’s headwear
Rabbit – A small piece of a Jewish priest
Bias – A donkey who swings both ways
Dilute – One who really hates Olde Englishe Folke Music
Cinema – A mother of loose morals
Maltese – To withhold chocolate treats for the purposes of sexual gratification
Decade – Charity helping talentless Geordie presenters


About klausjoynson
I'm a writer, editor, musician, DJ and cartoonist. Contact me at: klausjoynson(at) or follow me on Twitter: @KlausJoynson

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