Ten Ways to Make the Biennial Wackier

 

(Originally published in Inform Magazine, October 2004)

1. Instigate a pay per view service on all video installations
2. Have a requisite that only artworks at least 20 feet tall are allowed
3. As the comedy festival had a load of priests contributing, so let’s have a special installation made entirely by archbishops
4. For the duration of the Biennial all clubs must follow its artistic model and constantly challenge perceptions of what a club actually is
5. All artists have to mention specific things in the work itself and not mention anything specific in the accompaying blurb.
6. Random drug testing on all artists
7. Anybody who goes to every single exhibition wins a prize of dinner with Eddie Berg
8. Before it started, cut the grants of all artists involved and order them to pay back the money they’ve already spent. The wave of apoplectic anger would have created stuff far more interesting than what we actually got
9. Jarvis Cocker chooses something he found on the street as the winner of the John Moores
10. The following words and phrases will be banned: new media, meta-anything, exchange of ideas, urban identity, physical and cultural aspects, interactive website, etc. etc.

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About klausjoynson
I'm a writer, editor, musician, DJ and cartoonist. Contact me at: klausjoynson(at)gmail.com or follow me on Twitter: @KlausJoynson

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