Top Ten – People Who Can’t Be Trusted

(Originally published in Inform Magazine, January 2005)

1. People in Baseball Caps

They’re either surly, pseudo-cool, middle class adolescents or people who have never grown up from being surly, pseudo-cool, middle class adolescents.

2. Students with Too Much Money

There’s something just not right about students who have very expensive clobber and tend to do coke in posh bars every night.

3. Angry Artists

They’re invariably unreasonably bitter and it doesn’t take much for you to be the object of their ire.

4. Architects

Must all love extra slippy floor tiles that will have you breaking your neck at the first hint of rain, or concrete plazas that only attract skatepunks.

5. Socialist Worker Firebrands

Like artists, it only takes one misjudged word for you to be labelled ‘worse than a Nazi’ or some other equally ludicrous concept.

6. Blokes in Tight T-Shirts.

Okay you work out, but there’s no need to go flaunting it around like Jordan on a night out.

7. Men Who Have Hair Transplants

I’m not sure why, but it must be true.

8. People Who Have Reformed or Been Born Again

These people were usually the most selfish bastards imaginable. You really think they’ve changed?

9. People Who Only Ever Bitch About All Your Friends

And yet they would never talk about you behind your back. Yeah right.

10. Anyone who says ‘I’m not being funny but…’

Too right you’re not being funny. However you are being incredibly rude and don’t pretend otherwise.

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About klausjoynson
I'm a writer, editor, musician, DJ and cartoonist. Contact me at: klausjoynson(at)gmail.com or follow me on Twitter: @KlausJoynson

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