Top Ten – Most Annoying People at 2am in Town

(Originally published in Inform Magazine, May 2005)

1. The ‘psychopath’ of lads bullying their way down the street and shouting abuse/sexual suggestions at any passing man/woman.

2. The proclivity of same for coming right up in front of you and smashing your face in ‘for a laugh’.

3. The rivers of piss that are impossible to avoid stepping in, and the girls who walk down the street in their bare feet because their shoes are only practical enough for walking ten yards at a time.

4. The cars parked everywhere, causing people to have to walk in the street, where there are usually cars speeding around full of lads, none of whom have heard of the concept of ‘designated driver’.

5. Similarly, the car completely stuffed with girls, who are far more interested in animatedly chatting about whatever it is girls talk about, rather than worrying about not running people over.

6. How it’s possible for you to stand still for 10 seconds and have at least three people ask you ‘what you sellin’?’

7. The couple of 14 year old girls speeding headlong towards teenage pregnancy who you want to tell to go home and enjoy your childhood whilst it still exists.

8. The way you can never get anything even approaching decent, cheap-ish food at that hour; the world seemingly having been taken over by the dreaded over-priced kebab/burger/pizza triumverate.

9. How the music the DJs play at the end of their nights always seem to be the worst records known to human folly.

10. The habit of people of standing right in front of oncoming taxis and waving their arms, and the habit of said taxis to bomb around at 70mph in the presence of these maniacs.


About klausjoynson
I'm a writer, editor, musician, DJ and cartoonist. Contact me at: klausjoynson(at) or follow me on Twitter: @KlausJoynson

2 Responses to Top Ten – Most Annoying People at 2am in Town

  1. Chris says:

    I DJ around the Southport area and there used to be this gang of lads who would request the
    Hollyoaks theme, over and over again. They were pretty annoying but I grew to love them in the end and eventually wish I did play it.. alas, I let my pride get the better of me.

  2. klausjoynson says:

    I sense a note of sarcasm here. Like I would ever play the Hollyoaks theme.

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